By grace alone I stand

Yeah, I moved blogs a while ago.

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:46:00 -0500

I don’t even know why I moved this time, but unfollow this and follow the other one I guess. I’m keeping this though because I actually had content.

http://fivesolas.tumblr.com/

Video

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 18:26:55 -0400

And this is what they mean by saying that not all who hear will...

Sat, 30 Jul 2011 00:22:30 -0400

And this is what they mean by saying that not all who hear will believe.

The two on the left are fobs: Lily and Erica. I’ll focus on Lily for this. She is a rising 5th grader who came in early July and is here until mid-August. Since she doesn’t know English, I’ve been translating for her (and also for Erica) all week. I’ve been borrowing the 4th grade teacher’s Bible to let her read the Chinese version of whatever passage we have been reading. I put my Missions Power Point in Chinese (as well as English) for her, Erica, and Jessica (another fob)’s benefits. I’ve explained all our activities in morning and afternoon classes to her.

This morning was our last day, and then at 12am the last morning approached. With the remaining 15 minutes of the morning session, we prayed, took down decorations, and passed out goodies. We had took a photo on Monday of our class (except for Lily - she overslept that morning because she picked up her mother from the airport the previous night). On the back, Mrs. Vickie, the lead teacher had written a message to her, as she had done so to each child. Because the message was in English, I translated it into Chinese for Lily.

The first sentence was “Jesus loves you so much, Lily!”.

When I told Lily that, she said that she knew what it meant.

She also said, “but I don’t like Jesus”.

And that just broke my heart and caused me to stumble the rest of the day. Lily had told me that she was Christian. I either misunderstood what she meant or she was kidding with me. I really hope it was the latter, because it breaks my heart. And now I understand why I have such a deep passion for missions and the lost.

I will go.

My heart aches. I want Erica, Lily, and Jessica to know Christ so badly. But it’s hard because they live in a country where Christianity is heavily persecuted.

Psalm 62 (Scottish psalter?) This spelled fail from the start...

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 20:04:00 -0400

Psalm 62 (Scottish psalter?)

This spelled fail from the start but oh well.

1  My soul with expectation
         depends on God indeed;
      My strength and my salvation doth
         from him alone proceed.

   2  He only my salvation is,
         and my strong rock is he:
      He only is my sure defense;
         much moved I shall not be.

   3  How long will ye against a man
         plot mischief? ye shall all
      Be slain; ye as a tott'ring fence
         shall be, and bowing wall.

   4  They only plot to cast him down
         from his excellency:
      They joy in lies; with mouth they bless,
         but they curse inwardly.

   5  My soul, wait thou with patience
         upon thy God alone;
      On him dependeth all my hope
         and expectation.

   6  He only my salvation is,
         and my strong rock is he;
      He only is my sure defense:
         I shall not moved be.

   7  In God my glory placed is,
         and my salvation sure;
      In God the rock is of my strength,
         my refuge most secure.

   8  Ye people, place your confidence
         in him continually;
      Before him pour ye out your heart:
         God is our refuge high.

   9  Surely mean men are vanity,
         and great men are a lie;
      In balance laid, they wholly are
         more light than vanity.

  10  Trust ye not in oppression,
         in robb'ry be not vain;
      On wealth set not your hearts, when as
         increased is your gain.

  11  God hath it spoken once to me,
         yea, this I heard again,
      That power to Almighty God
         alone doth appertain.

  12  Yea, mercy also unto thee
         belongs, O Lord, alone:
      For thou according to his work
         rewardest ev'ry one.

bah

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 22:53:50 -0400

i guess since i’ve been gone too long, i won’t be able to join you all anymore. well, i shouldn’t be bothered because i wasn’t in the loop the first place, always being that distant asian who reads too much books and doesn’t socialize.

—

bothers me when others sign up for vbs for the wrong purpose. i can’t say at all that you have the right motive for serving. because you clearly don’t.

—

for the first time ever, i called friends yesterday (after months, years). i’m proud of myself

—

aren’t cliques supposed to not exist? maybe that’s why a lot of people have left this church. even you. i’m glad that he gives equal attention to each student, but you chose favorites.

—

i walked in the church and i didn’t get any particular welcome. but you went back in your circle.

—

even though i feel so lonely now, jonathan said something really good at the vbs devo yesterday, how when you feel that others (i.e. little kids) are being bad, think about yourself. are you just like them? and i called mark, my texico leader, yesterday. he reminded me of the importance of treating others the way you wanted to be treated. though sometimes it doesn’t go the way you want it to go

—

i think we should all stop being cliquely

—

or maybe it’s because i don’t know how to talk with people

—

but like from what i saw today. gossiping and badmouthing fellow brothers and sisters is not cool. not cool

—

i guess i’m allowed to like people on my team now because the trip’s over! cool!

—

though it’s in vain. no guys will like me. (like like)

—

i need to writing my mind out and go read habitudes and scripture

—

good night

I wanna sit at Your feet, drink at the cup in Your hand, lay...

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:15:45 -0400

I wanna sit at Your feet, drink at the cup in Your hand, lay back against you and breathe, hear your heart beat. This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming

Free Crazy Love or Forgotten God

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:28:41 -0400

Free Crazy Love or Forgotten God:

Spread the news haha

freedomreigns: I set my heart on a pilgrimage, through the...

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:23:40 -0400

freedomreigns:

I set my heart on a pilgrimage, through the valley of weeping I will go
I set my heart on a pilgrimage until I appear before God in Zion

As the Deer, Matt Gilman

Te Doy Gloria, Gloria A Ti Jesus!One of the best songs...

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 21:19:33 -0400

Te Doy Gloria, Gloria A Ti Jesus!
One of the best songs I’ve heard all month (over and over again). Isn’t that what it’s all about? Worshiping with an intent with giving GOD and only GOD the glory.

I've been asked "ZOMG you're back! VICTORIAAAA!!!! HOW WAS YOUR MISSION TRIP?

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 21:16:49 -0400

I said fine, good, and such, but are there words to explain what happened?

Nevertheless, GOD is good (all the time), and all the time (GOD is good). JESUS!

Video

Sat, 23 Jul 2011 23:23:11 -0400

Romans 15:13 and Mark the Jesus Warrior

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 17:08:53 -0400

the past four days have been some of the hardest days of my life.
basically, the man that I have called brother, father, mentor, friend, spiritual leader- he was told to leave by Adventures in Missions in 12 hours. Those twelve hours were some of the saddest hours in my life. Reasons? A lot of bitterness by some of the people that we have been working with and misunderstandings, and some people are awesome at being falsely persuasive.the first two days, I cried all day as so did my team. But now, as hard as it is, I’m learning to work past this and serve with a joyful heart though it is harder than you can everimagine. I took so much pictures ad looking at the ones of Matk and just everyhere brings memories of him. However, Mark is a man after His heart and the Word and he teaches me so much about the Word, reading and also living it out. The greatest comfort I have these days is Scripture, reading Romans 13 and Romans 15 and Colossians 3. Honestly I have never met someone who lives scripture out as Mark. I’m trying to live out Romans 12:9-20 something he told us to memorize and I’ve already memorized Romans 15:13, the last verse he gave us. Mark was not only an exemplary leader to us but also to the youth group from the Church of Acts. Though this week will be hard because we daily work with the two that kind of led to Mark’s departure, I will attempt to work with the best that I can though I don’t know how I can do it. But whatis impossible with man is possible with GOD. I miss you so much Mark but I know that God is calling o places like Peru. Estoy entusiamada para ti! And I always have Facebook.

Foot washing does lead to less anger. I still have some (righteous) anger at several people including a leader, but slowly I’m casting it to the Lord.

Vbs meeting at 2 pm this Saturday right?

http://www.mexico-hs.adventures.org

The freedom of our LORD

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 00:04:06 -0400

This is obviously a queued post. I hope that all you at Shocco right now are learning much, and please pray for my team at Shocco (well it’s too late isn’t it), at home, that Tumblr Facebook group, and in your churches as we do the work that our Lord Jesus Christ has commissioned us to accomplish here in Mexico. I pray that this retreat will not be a spiritual high, that you won’t act double sided, but that you will act the same way at church/home/retreat.

Celebrate the fact that you have an eternal home that will never perish. It was fought through through a war, but there is a complete assurance that the war will be won. For Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King.

Psalm 118:5 In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.

Psalm 119:32
I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.

Psalm 119:45
I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.

Luke 4:18-19
The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

John 8:32
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 8:36
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Galatians 5:1
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Ephesians 3:12
In him [Christ] and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

In Your freedom we will live.

And good luck NEW Mexico team and Christine!

Ni Hao

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 20:43:35 -0400

So i’m at Starbucks right now with the majority of my team. I can’t exactly post a real blog because I am awful typing with an iTouch, but we have experienced spiritual warfare and tragedies have happening, but at the same time God is victorious and He has been doing amazing things. Alright I will attempt to blog later. Go to http://www.Mexico-hs.adventures.com where I was actually able to write stuff. Oh we have 3 calvinists as well as charismatics and we practice a lot of listeing prayer eww. Its hard.

QUEUED: By grace alone I stand: regrets

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 00:00:06 -0400

QUEUED: By grace alone I stand: regrets:

syncingwater:

I worry about my family when I leave tomorrow. I left last summer for two weeks, but I was in a safe place. They knew what I was doing: attending a Christian summer camp. But now I’m on a five week mission trip. I suppose that it was good that GOD didn’t call me to somewhere farther away for the…

IT’S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE

This is obviously a queued post.

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 07:24:06 -0400

I think I should write about Whirlwind.

It’s a blessing to be able to serve GOD and see His work in our service. When the ACCCN team first came to Azalea Place Apartment Complex 4 years ago, we were complete strangers and had to find kids to play with. However, we had kids knocking on our doors and waiting outside for us when we came out in the mornings, and them banging on our door when we went inside to eat lunch and dinner. My main goal was to change what I had did the last two times I went to Whirlwind, but GOD did more than that. I was able to form a relationship with a family that I adored so much. Here’s what I wrote like the day I came back from Whirlwind about that family.

This is Guillermo (Memo), one of the kids that summarizes the past 10 days. If I can find a picture of his brother, I’ll post it. I established a relationship with him, his little brother, and his mother that hopefully will carry on in the future when I visit them. Also, playing and being with him and his siblings almost every day showed me how much I really do care for little kids, to my surprise because I didn’t know what I was to get out of this mission trip. Also, my Spanish has improved since I broke the language barrier with him and his family (they only speak Spanish, with a bit of broken English). My heart aches for Memo’s family and though I’ll pray for the Azalea Place complex and all the children, this family, as well as the family that lives with them, is one of the family that I will truly pray for. I kind of emphasize because when I was really little, I lived in China and my dad lived in America; Memo and Javi (his little brother) rarely see his dad as he is a day worker.

I formed bonds with more kids, even though they were definitely not as strong as the bonds that my friends formed with them, but that’s okay. I learned a lot about humility this mission trip. The main way was that I kept expected that our team would have a foot washing session, but we never did, but that’s okay. Also, we were able to talk with certain kids about their faith. I was surprised towards what certain churches did as their effort to reach out towards these children. They would pick up them to bring them to church and also feed them at church (and then children programs).

Sorry, these are scrambled thoughts, but I was amazed at how the kids exhibited family. Most of all, I was amazed at all how despite the divide between Islam and Catholicism in this apartment complex, the Bengali and Hispanic children played really well with each other. Also, when we served (and sometimes snuck) food to them, I was surprised at how tight they were with their siblings, and how much they cared for their parents.

Oh snap I’m not making sense so I’ll end by saying that I am really proud of my team especially certain members at how this trip I have seen them grow so much in Christ.

I hope to visit Whirlwind when I come back, especially to visit Memo and Javi. I had a dream about their family once too. I hope it won’t happen to them.

Have fun at Shocco guys! Take notes for me or something! And save me a sunshine mail. (KIDDING that’s too much to ask for I NEED TO LEARN HUMILITY)

So I leave for Rio Grande Valley today

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 01:20:00 -0400

I don’t know what to expect. Prayers would be appreciated for my team, for our safe travels, for our ministry, for humility, and for spriritual warfare, and most importantly for unity as a team…for Sara Beth, Taylor, Emily, Anthony, Stephen, Alec, Ivan, Bethanie, Nolan, Ben, Brendan, and leaders: Kayla and Mark.

It’s too late now. Leaving around 2pm. See you guys July 23rd unless I manage to gain internet access, then I’ll blog about our ministry on Tumblr. I love you guys, have an awesome summer! I’m now terrified of being away from my family for 5 weeks. Err…

[I need to find a hat~~, and tape~~]

WEBSITE IS http://www.mexico-hs.adventures.org

regrets

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 11:50:00 -0400

I worry about my family when I leave tomorrow. I left last summer for two weeks, but I was in a safe place. They knew what I was doing: attending a Christian summer camp. But now I’m on a five week mission trip. I suppose that it was good that GOD didn’t call me to somewhere farther away for the sake of my parents. My grandmother only found out that I am leaving tomorrow for 5 weeks a few days ago, and I spent a morning attempting to explain to her what is a mission trip (in Chinese) to no success. I guess it’s good that she doesn’t really understand and she only thinks it’s a vacation - I’ll leave my mother to do that. When I attempted to tell her that no, it was not a vacation and I fundraised the entire $1,875, she didn’t get the idea of a lot of others paying for my trip. If she knew what I was really doing, she’d be heartbroken, because of her religion and the thought of a family member going off for 5 weeks to a strange place to evangelize, well, she would think of it as evangelizing, “chuan gao”. Not that she hasn’t done it herself, just for a different religion.

I was trying to sleep today, going to bed at 12am. I couldn’t fall asleep, so I curled up in my mother’s bed as it would be one of the few instances until I would see her again. I tossed around in bed and I finally managed to fall asleep. Probably not even 45 minutes later, I was awoken to a devilish voice talking next door. It was my neighbor, who was recently fired from his job and just lost his wife and daughter because his wife was too ashamed of him; to make matters worse, she took herself and her daughter to his father, who is a billionare. I was terrified and it took me 30 more minutes to fall sleep after he stopped. Then, I was awokened again by loud shouting and a drunken voice. Same thing, I finally went back to sleep, not before thinking that he was going to go into my house and kill my family (I watch too much Law and Order). I was awakened again, and then after he subsided my mother woke up to do stuff, at 4am -.-. My father came in and was talking to my mom, and I told him that I couldn’t sleep. He assumed I just came into bed but then my mom told him about my erratic neighbor. Then came more wake up go back to sleep because I seriously was terrified that the man would barge into my house and a) look for alcohol b) raid cabinets c) do bad things to my mom d) hold my family hostage e) kill my family f) all of the above. So I finally went to sleep at 7am and woke up just now, around 11:15am.

I won’t be there with my family for 37 days, and I’m scared, for my family and for my next door neighbor. I feel like he might drunkenly start roaming the neighborhood, invade other houses, and/or kill himself.

Worse, what if someone in my family (immediate or extended) suddenly dies? I can’t come back from Mercedes, Texas or Texico to confront my parents and/or attend his/her funeral.

What if my dad develops more financial pressure/stress and does something terrible, to himself, my mom, or my grandmother. Most days after he gets home from work, he just sits in the basement watching TV on his plasma screen with his cigarettes. What if, since I’m not home, he has a lot of stress one day and decides to escalate his stress on my mom and/or grandmother?

Jesus said that in order to follow Him, you have to throw down everything you have and then follow Him. However, I am worried about my family during when I am gone. I’m sure it will be alright, because I do have peace (to some extent), but I’m still nervous/worried.

Oh, and Sunday is Father’s Day. I’m missing that.

Nevertheless, Texico in a day. Can you believe it? I can’t! I’m not sure if I’m ready. I guess, like Melz says, you can never be ready for a mission trip, but I feel like I’m still not built up spiritually.

I have two teammates that engage in charismatic stuff, and yet one of them also engages in theology/apologetics. This shall be interesting. Also, we have 5 girls (including a leader) but 9 guys (including the other leader). Oh goodness. At least us girls know that we will be protected.

Ryan Rhoades is an idiot.

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 23:16:00 -0400

Just had to get it out of my chest. And he’s going to influence every Christian Tumbleree on Tumblr now. I really hope that GOD would convict them before it happens. False sheep false sheep false sheep ok I’m done.

Sorry, it still haunts/bothers me, because he damaged a lot of my spiritual knowledge.

as seasons come and go

Tue, 14 Jun 2011 23:13:16 -0400

It’s still surprising to see how people have changed, both for the good and bad. How the Holy Spirit works in the hearts of some that really transforms them to be incredible sons and daughters of GOD. There’s this one conversation that I really treasure even though it was in my extremely immature years. Basically I had a friend who at that time was first in the process in converting to Christianity, and later he became a Christian. I think during that time when he was converting, I sent some encouragement on his Facebook or something, I don’t remember. One day, he wrote on my wall (this was after he converted) and was like “How does one have such faith?” or something like he saw my faith and was inspired. We had a really good conversation about faith and what GOD’s love does to people. Now, I look up to him really much, the walking Bible encylopedia, when the irony was that a few years ago, I was an inspiration to him though there’s times when we have our (theological) differences.

Once upon a time, there was a praise night at my church. Now in those days, you couldn’t expect that much from praise night except spiritual highs, and we even had a pretty flawed praise night. But afterwards, my friends told me that there was a guy who was praying in tongues during almost the whole time. Without saying much about this incident, let’s just say that I Facebook stalked a lot of people to find him and we had a nice conversation (concerning tongues) and then I got really interested (about tongues) for a while. This was 2.5 years ago by the way. Hecame to become a big brother of mine that I looked for inspiration. Even without tongues, I looked up to him for his devotion to the LORD. Now, times have changed. He focuses all his time on his job, basically dropped out of school, stopped going to church, drinks, and he’s fallen a long way from GOD. I miss how he used to be (not talking about tongues). I miss his faith. I miss him helping me improve my Chinese. He was known as a fob in our youth group (in a joking manner), but now I’m pretty sure he forgot most of his Chinese. Today, when talking to some dear brothers and sisters of mine before I leave for Texico and we came to this topic, I realized that I just really miss him.

We had a period in our youth group when there was a lot of people attending. As much as I miss and long for that period again, I feel that despite our small attendance rate, we have a purer youth group now. Of course, it’s awesome to bring friends to youth group, especially non-believers, but that period distracted many of us from our faith, and I know people that stopped going to church because of that.

These are three stories of many from my youth group. I pray that GOD will continue to bless those that are faithful to Him, but He will also warn those that have fallen away. There’s no “kind-of” Christian. You’re either committed to serving GOD whole-hearted or you’re not.